Saturday 19 December 2009

A time of goodwill to all movies

I feel so ashamed, sitting in my ivory tower (cunningly disguised as a mess of a spare room) pronouncing on the stupidity of the general public from whom I naturally exclude myself... and then I decide to watch 2012. 2012 film Disaster movies are my Achilles heel when it comes to good taste and I’m particularly vulnerable to the apocalyptic end of the world “we’re all goin’ to die” tale. An unimpressed colleague described the film as akin to being on an overlong rollercoaster. But despite the obvious plot devices, the naff dialog, the implausible escape from a seemingly certain end, the sense that one ought to be more emotionally involved when witness to the death of millions... Well put it this way; I knew it was rubbish but all I could manage was “wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee”.

It’s a film with a good cast that includes John Cusack (of the brilliant Grosse Pointe Blank), George Segal (a big name from the 70's) and Danny Glover (only two days from retirement). As mitigation I could suggest that they rose above the material but this would be to evade the truth. My work colleague described it as two and a half hours of her life wasted. I on the other hand will no doubt watch this ridiculous piece of rubbish again. Roland Emmerich flattens The White House once more and leaves my critical faculties in ruin. All I have to do now is enjoy James Cameron's Avatar and my journey to the dark side will be complete.


  1. Shame on you Phil.

    Shame. On you.

    What's that in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

    No! It's SHAME!

    Watch out, before it lands on you.

    Do you know what shame stands for?
    Stupid Horrible Asinine Movie Experience

    And it also means shame, on you.

    For watching that movie.

    You, who pour scorn on such classics as Shoot 'Em Up
    You, with your DVD collection spanning thousands, not one of them in English.
    You, with your love of Homer, and Roman History.

    I rused that film used to mean I just watched a film of heart. A film with well rounded characters, an intelligent plot. A film with soul.

    Screw this, hot date girl just sent me a text!

    Film sucks, hackneyed, yada yada yada.
    Shame times a million, I hear over Christmas there's a special version of Titanic where the boat is edited out and it's just three hours of Kate Winslet playing quoits. Perhaps you could watch that now.