Send in the clown

Many years ago I found myself looking at a performance issue with a new version of software. Re-written from the ground up and in a newer version of the language, it was running much slower than the component it replaced. It turned out the problem wasn't the code but the interaction between the client and server process. With only a single thread of execution (it was that long ago) a disproportionate amount of time was spent with the client requesting and the server providing 'progress updates'. The change from significantly slower to significantly faster performance was achieved with the alteration of a single line; the client process would request a 'progress update' once every five seconds, rather than 20 times every second.

Over a dozen years later and I'm at it again, only this time I'm the 'single thread of execution' and the numerous task reminders popping up on my screen are the work I'm keeping in the air whilst I carefully inch forward; either that or an elaborate April fool. I feel a circus act, not entirely sure why, but certain I must.

Truth is beauty, beauty is... computer generated

I’m never sure of the relevance of how art is created, but I was pulled in by the knowledge that this video is entirely computer generated. Personally I’m drawn by the aesthetic, so after a few minutes of “that’s impressive” I was able to enjoy the art as a whole, the video supported by the use of a Michael Nyman score (who composed the music for Gattaca and Wonderland). However despite reading Alex Roman's explanation I don't really understand, I only know it is vast and I am touched with sadness; for it is beauty against which I am insignificant.

Online schizophrenic tweet

At one point I added a tweet feed if only to figure out how. "How" proved to be fairly straight forward, I'm having a problem with "why". Or maybe it's a problem with "how" do you find people you might be interested in following? I'm a little snotty with a method requiring such a short attention span and isn't the whole "follow a stranger" thing kind of wrong? Well obviously I'm doing this for research / everyone else is doing it / I'm desperate / I'm sad / I'm desperately sad / I have something unique to say...

Worse; over a month ago and for some totally inexplicable reason I created another account. I spent a long time setting one up, trying to find a unique name, which I still don’t like, created a background (because I'm like that) and then posted three tweets. I've still only posted three tweets. Is that the correct terminology? So that's two accounts; one under my 'real' identity, which hardly affords the unexpurgated truth - and one for an assumed character of some past historical figure. I had this notion of becoming urbane and witty but it's hardly original and a notion doesn't make you become so; it's there should I inherit the trait through accident.

So I'm back to searching on favourite films; The Fountain is a good start but Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind matches everyone on the planet. Better to search on some older classics; Now Voyager, The Browning Version, but I don't have the patience and my mind inevitably wanders. Isn't unexpurgated a terrific word?

Perfectly normal paranoia

In the spirit of enlightenment and in true socialist fashion I’m going to pigeon-hole everyone into one of the following groups:

1. Ignorance is bliss.
2. It might never happen and there’s nothing you can do about it.
3. It is going to happen and there’s nothing you can do about it.
4. Run for your lives.

For those who posit "there is something you can do about it"… do I really need to say where they belong?

It's then I remember:

You know, all this explains a lot of things. All my life I've had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was.

Thankfully I read this (or maybe saw the BBC series) at a young age and it helped explain those occasional moments in my life when it appeared the world around me was going to sh*t. Because as the wonderfully named Slartibartfast put it:

…that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that.

The soundtrack of my life

So Before Sunrise and Reality Bites were disappointments, but in his defence he featured in a really great film, Gattaca. Admittedly Ethan Hawke isn’t the reason this film is so good but he deserves praise for not messing it up. Sometimes that’s enough; I, Robot for example was a huge let-down not through being bad, but because it could have been so much better. Gattaca delivered partially down to the story but I mostly remember the music. Michael Nyman composed the score for this and another great film, Wonderland. Two films with completely different subjects but alike with musical scores of such sadness; sorrow has rarely been so beautifully expressed. One film that of a clinically clean dystopian future, the other of a grimy depressing present; and I love them both – it must be down to my sunny personality. Not exactly the soundtrack of my life, but there's definitely a theme.

Shhh…

Against expectations I found time to watch Wings of Desire, but I needed a couple of strong coffees as I was feeling very tired. I’ll pay for that later. It was poetic, hypnotic and I liked the background; but if I were to make one criticism it would be the scene at the bar/lounge - too many words. I can’t think of another way to phrase that and I know it makes me sound like a Neanderthal, an opinion that will be hardened when I mention another film with the same problem; Before Sunrise. In all other respects it’s an unfair comparison since it was one minor quibble of a film that was otherwise excellent; whereas Before Sunrise, consumed with its own importance, was self indulgent crap - though I’ll bet fans of Dawson’s Creek loved it.

Ouch, that sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it? It’s the last film I can remember not watching to the end. I’m fanatical about such things, even complete rubbish, so I must have had some kind of allergic reaction to stop after less than half an hour. But hey, I’ll be magnanimous, I’ll give it a second chance, I just pray that at some point Ethan Hawke pauses for breath. It was the second time he’d let me down, having gone to see Reality Bites at the cinema and being tempted to walk out after – oh – about thirty minutes. Annoying, but I’d paid good money (whatever that means) so I endured the tale of obnoxious-little-jerk meets girl, obnoxious-little-jerk wins girl; I guess it was back in the days when being an obnoxious little jerk was – like – cool – yeah?

Out, damned report

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, though since I can’t remember any good bits I’d take that with a pinch of salt. I am so tired and I can’t decide whether it’s due to a lack of sleep or working on reports, or a lack of sleep due to working on reports. I do know I don’t want another week like that, but since I’ve not yet finished there’s every chance I will. Regression testing will prove even more painful since there’s work on systems of which I have even less or no knowledge - but then neither does anyone else. On one report I removed an entire list of recipient addresses, people involved in the development, people who have all been made redundant. My address is on there now but for how long?

So I would be well advised to make the most of the weekend. However my hope of watching Wings of Desire, years after getting the DVD, has failed to materialise. Saturday afternoon was my chance and I’m realistic enough to know how the evening will turn out. You see that sad grey haired man sunk on the sofa, brain barely active (it’s for the best) whilst watching Casualty on BBC One? That’s me that is, that’s my future.